Good morning, class. This is ""Beginning Golf, 101. In today's lesson: ""Island resorts can be par for the course if you avoid some of the hazards,'' your assignment is to conduct an experiment.
The hypothesis: It's possible for a beginner to survive 18 holes with a more experienced partner _ the spouse _ and be ready to come back for more. But can the loving couple happily co-exist during a dream vacation on Maui, Hawaii's second largest island, for three rounds in three days without getting teed off?
""Golf should be a wonderful sport for couples,'' says Patricia Baldwin, this class' guest lecturer and the editor-in-chief of Golf for Women magazine. ""And even though Hawaii has some of the toughest golf courses in the world, a woman starting out shouldn't be afraid to play golf there. In fact, it should be a great place for a beginner, if you realize a couple of things. 1. You're not there to work on your game, you're there to enjoy and appreciate the beauty; 2. Try to get over the intimidation factor; golf is not a game of perfection, and you shouldn't feel like you have to compete against the man who is your playing partner; they've been working on their games their entire lives; don't try to compare yourself to them. 3. Know the rules, know the etiquette of the game before you go out there.
""Follow those guidelines, and you'll become a great playing partner.
Baldwin says the trend with resort courses like those in Maui is to make it enjoyable for players of varying skills. ""They don't want to feel like they've been conquered.''
Maui, with 15 golf courses, includes four major resorts _ Kapalua, Kaanapali, Makena and Wailae _ catering to the vacation traveler that allow for all levels of play. Hawaiians say, ""Maui No Ka Oi,'' which means ""Maui is the best.'' For one experimental couple, this could be the trip of a lifetime or ""Paradise Lost,'' the latest episode on ""Divorce Court.''
This island seems like a phenomenal laboratory for the volunteers of this case study: Mr. and Mrs. B., both 40, married for nearly 20 years; he's played golf since childhood; she hasn't played a single round. For the purposes of this experiment, and to help raise the stress level, let's make sure they take their three sons, ages 11, 9 and 4, along for the ride. Romantic getaway _ forget it. That would be too easy.
Remember, class, this is more than a lesson in golf. Any high-handicapper can improve their game by watching ""Dorf on Golf.'' This will offer so much more. If you dare to learn about survival, the battle of the sexes, male chauvinism, great American myths and the sanctity of the tee time, proceed in what could be an Experiment in Terror. But be afraid, be very afraid.
Some research on our subjects produced the following data: Mrs. B's past golf experiences have been less than fulfilling. While dating her husband-to-be, they often spent time together on the course, usually walking 18 holes through the heat and humidity of a southern summer; he played, she watched; he missed a par putt on No. 18; she fainted walking toward the clubhouse; he enjoyed watching major golf tournaments on TV; she enjoyed the deep sleep they provided.
Still, our new student of the game was excited, if somewhat apprehensive, prior to her trip to paradise. After receiving a not-too-expensive set of clubs for her 40th birthday, she took lessons from her local golf pro to prepare for her virgin tour.
But before teeing it up, both of them had to deal with some trouble spots that had nothing to do with lakes or bunkers.
Proving or dispelling myths and theories/c
Golf is a sexist game. It may be as true today as it was 30 years ago. A recent study by the National Golf Foundation suggests that, after the number of women golfers in the U.S. peaked in 1990 at 6.5 million, the figure declined. While it was encouraging to note that 37 percent of new golfers were women, the more alarming statistic may be that the game's highest number of dropouts are also females (close to 40 percent), with the highest attrition rate in the 20-39 age groups.
Do golf courses discriminate against women, or just discreetly discourage women from playing? Is there something they can do to attract more women, and make them feel more comfortable?
Baldwin says the resorts are probably ahead of their competition _ public courses _ in this area. Resorts welcome all players of all abilities with open arms.
""We realize you're on vacation, we need to handle customers diplomatically,'' says Rick Castillo, senior head professional at Wailae. ""Sometimes it's a challenge. At your own country club, everyone polices themselves, makes sure they keep up with the group ahead of them; at public courses, a lot of times you're forced to keep up.''
Howard Kihune Jr., director of golf at Makena, says the resort courses are better for beginners simply because, ""they're more forgiving.''
They are also politcally correct. ""Ladies tees,'' a couple of red markers dropped 20-to-30 yards in front of the men's tees, are becoming a thing of the past. They are now called ""forward tees,'' and are not for women only.
High handicappers, seniors and junior golfers are encouraged to hit from the forward tees, and many courses are now designed to allow the player to use all the clubs in their bag. Maui's newest renovation, the Emerald Course at Wailae, was designed with ""feminine'' characteristics in mind, says Baldwin, including shorter bunkering, fewer forced carries, less contouring on the greens and large, grassy landing areas. ""With all the natural vegetation and foiliage (bougainvillea, allamanda, spider lillies), it resembles a tropical garden,'' she says. ""It's like taking a walk through a park; and after playing 18 holes, you didn't feel like you were beat up.''
Also, most of the resort courses on Maui try to accommodate couples who are shy about playing with others, particularly if they are intimidated by someone of the opposite sex.
""One of the most intimidating feelings for a woman golfer _ whether or not she's a beginner _ is playing in a foursome with three men,'' Baldwin says. ""Even if one of them is her husband, think how lonely she must feel. She waits for them to tee off first, then after they've hit, she goes to a separate teebox, where she's all alone. She feels like she has to rush to keep up with the men.''
Which brings us to another theory: Most men don't want to play with women.
""I think that's a bum rap, that's been overpublicized,'' says Baldwin. ""I've always found that men make wonderful playing partners; they're, for the most part, very gracious and always try to make you feel comfortable.'' Still, Baldwin admits, some of those ancient attitudes exist. She recalls playing with a father and son, and when dad suggested the boy hit from the foward tees, ""He had the most horrified look on his face, like it was the worst thing his dad could possibly ask him to do.''
Our subjects grew up in the '50s and '60s, learning family values by watching reruns of ""The Honeymooners'' and ""I Love Lucy.'' That's a lot to overcome, especially if they're spending five hours a day together in a golf cart. Would Ralph Kramden ever let his wife Alice do the driving?
In the episode when Ralph learns to play golf, he hears some discouraging words from Alice. He turns to his friend Norton, adding, ""Now I know why people play golf; it's not 'cause they like this game; it's just to get away from their wives!''
Mr. B. wasn't running away from his wife, though. He was eager to have her get involved in the game, so they could spend a little time together away from the house, away from the children. They spent their 17th anniversary on a golf course in Vail; again, she watched while he played. But it was her idea, and the two seemingly enjoyed themselves. That give him the idea to buy her clubs in the first place.
Still, he couldn't help some male chauvinism from creeping in. He recalled the classic ""I Love Lucy'' episode when Lucy and Ethel asked their husbands Ricky and Fred if they could take up golf so ""at least we'd see them once in awhile.''
Ethel: ""It's just perfect. There are two of us and two of them; we'll make a foursome.''
Lucy: ""I have an idea this is one time that two and two won't make four.''
Fred: ""We might've made a terrible mistake teaching our wives how to play golf.''
Ricky: ""Everthing will work out all right. They'll play with us for a couple of days, they won't be any good at it, they'll get discouraged and they'll quit.''
Fred: ""Suppose they like it and get good at it? Then what are we gonna do?''
Ricky: ""Then we'll kill ourselves.''
Resort courses in Hawaii try to lower the stress level, by allowing couples to play alone if they request it; but chances are better if they do the following:
play during the ""slow season,'' from mid-April through September.
Never try to reserve an early morning tee time, particularly if one of the players is a beginner; courses get their higher volumes in the morning, and you'll more than likely be paired up with another twosome if you insist on playing during their ""prime time.''
Consider the ""twilight'' specials most resorts offer; you'll save money if you wait until after 2 p.m. on most resorts, and the courses are generally less crowded.
Always remember that resorts are in the business of pleasing vacationers. ""We go out of our way to provide for a couple to play alone, depending on the flow of business, Kihune says. ""We prefer to call it a "romantic twosome.''/t''
Then why does it often turn out to resemble another episode of ""The Honeymooners''?
Ralph: ""You can't discourage me Alice. I don't care if you got any confidence. Because I have enough confidence in me for the both of us.''
Alice: ""You got enough of everything in you for the both of us.''
The field trip/c
One resort; three courses; three different sets of circumstances; our subjects choose what many golf experts call Maui's best resort _ Kapalua, the only spot on the island awarded the highest rating (Gold Medalist) by Golf Magazine last year. Built on thousands of acres of pineapple fields, it's Maui's newest resort. With the recent additions of the Kapalua Bay Hotel and the Ritz-Carlton, it strives to lure upscale clientele.
Here's what the test subjects experienced:
Round 1: Village Course (appealing, but like a family's middle child, might often go unnoticed; the resort's second course, built in 1980, climbs from the foot of the West Maui mountains and eventually mingles with pineapple fields, eucalyptus tress and one of its most memorable features, a mountain lake that stretches between the fifth and sixth fairways).
First day, the family is up at dawn; the kids are enrolled in a 9 a.m.-2 p.m. day camp provided by their hotel, the Aston Kaanapali Shores (excellent idea). Mrs. B is late making it to the hotel lobby for the 15-minute trip and Mr. B preaches about tee times, what they mean, and what happens if they're late.
What does he know? The couple misses their scheduled time by 10 minutes, but the course starter is non-plussed. ""Whenever you're ready,'' he suggests.
They are paired with an elderly couple from Germany; Greta tees off, and hits a worm-burner; Mrs. B smiles, the pressure is immediately off; the women hit it off; the foursome drags; the women gossip; the men allow two other foursomes to play through.
Mr. and Mrs. B keep their eyes on the watch; before the reach No. 15, it's time to pick up the kids; she volunteers to go; he furiously drives her back to the car through the steep turns and valleys. Although Hans rarely commends his playing partners for their good shots, concentrating solely on his round, his behavior is generally acceptable _ until the 18th hole; after shanking his drive into the trees and watching his next shot richochet off two trees, then go out of bounds, he hurls his club. At least that lands in the middle of the fairway. But all is well, they'll be back tomorrow.
Round 2: Bay Course (closest to the shore, with breathtaking _ but oftentimes distracting _ ocean views from practically every hole; the resort's oldest course, opening in 1975, it plays the shortest yardage for women _ 5,124 yards _ and is relatively flat, which should make it seem less intimidating.
Test subjects seem relaxed, until they meet their playing partners on the first tee. The Wright Brothers _ Howard and Ernie _ have basketball builds and Jack Nicklaus swings; they hit from the back tees. Gulp! Mrs. B says, ""Maybe, we should let them go ahead,'' and completely misses the ball on her first swing; there will be more ""whiffs'' to follow; Mr. B doesn't exactly exactly conquer the course, either, making 8 on the par-5 first hole; he does manage a par 3 on the course's most spectacular hole _ No. 5, which allows the Pacific Ocean to act as one huge water hazard from the championship and regular tees. Mrs. B has her moments _ and the Wright Brothers intersperse words on encouragement with raucous applause when her drives take flight. Mrs. B is worn out by the time she reaches No. 16, a par-4 that requires a drive to carry a ravine. She would rather throw the ball than hit it. Can they go the distance?
Round 3: Plantation Course (toughest test that receiving ravest reviews after opening in 1991, including 41/2 out of a possible 5 stars from Golf Digest magazine; it's set amidst pineapple fields and the new home for the PGA Tour's Kapalua International, held in November; it offers wide panoramas, deep valleys and mountain slopes, but also massive bunkers and dramatic and huge countoured greens.
Mr. and Mrs. B post their worst scores of the trip; why, then, do they enjoy this day the most?
They're on their own this day, no playing partners, no crowds, no hurry, no worry; Despite generous fairways, they often find themselves in trouble, landing in the numerous bunkers, the rugged ravines and the ever-present sawgrass??? that sways in the persistant winds off the Pacific.
Still, with their vantage point, seemingly overlooking the other two courses, they feel on top of the world. Golf scores are insignificant; they have conquered their golfing world, or at least feel like it. If there's a minus, it's that the morning and afternoon go by too quickly; they don't have enough time to soak in everything. they hope they never forget it. They are reminded of what Mark Twain said about the island:
""I went to Maui to stay a week and remained five. I never spent so pleasant a month before, or bade any place goodbye so regretfully. I have not once thought of business, or care or human toil or trouble or sorrow or weariness ... and the memory of it will remain with me always.''
But soon it's back to the real world. So what are the findings of this experiment?
According to several resort experts, Mr. and Mrs. B did almost everything right. The harshest criticism was of the local pro who failed to give his student a lesson in etiquette before she played a round. ""That lesson is vital,'' points out Wailae's Castillo, who instructs his staff to include etiquette and rules as part of their lessons. Kaanapali's director of golf, Ray DeMello, says reading the etiqutte part of a rulebook ""is the hardest thing to get across,'' to a beginner.
Adds Catillo: ""A beginner will enjoy the game of golf more if they feel in place, they know how to behave properly. They should have respect for their fellow competitor, and respect for the golf course.''
So what's the end result for our daring duo? Do each of them have a greater appreciation for one another, not too mention the game? And is there a happy ending? It depends on who's doing the talking.
He said: ""I wish I could say she is hooked on the game, reading "Golf for Women' religiously and setting us up for tee times with other couples at the local course every other weekend. But what can I say?''
She said: ""I wish I could say he's a more compassionate person, understands all of my needs and realizes, after I shop, cook and clean for three growing kids, there's not much time left to go to the golf course.''
At least they never let this go unsaid: ""We'll always have Maui.''